During a recent conversation with a friend who I don’t see that often, she confessed that she was, “Doing yoga but not really talking much about it, because I don’t want to be one of those people who talks about it all the time.”

Whilst time was short and we didn’t delve into what that really meant or what drew her to this practice, her apprehension around revealing this aspect of her personal evolution triggered my curiosity. I sensed a fear of judgment, and perhaps loss of individuality.

I think of it as “closeted spirituality.”

And I can say this – without judgment – because I’ve been there myself.

My main reference growing up was “light Catholic” – we had a home full of books and my dad constantly encouraged us to open our minds. When he noticed I was getting bored of attending mass, he put a book about Buddhism in front me and said, “Here, read this. Take what you need from everything that you learn. Create your own personal blend.”

At first, I tiptoed around nurturing my spirituality. It wasn’t something most of my friends at the time had any interest in exploring for themselves.

I was in awe of other people who knew more than I did, but I was afraid to ask. I explored Reiki and new forms of meditation with some people who seemed clear-intentioned but then veered off in a concerning direction. For a time, I felt like I lived a double life as I secretly explored this spiritual avenue whilst showing up for my day job in the tech world.

I felt spiritually isolated until Life hauled me out of that dynamic.

After this, I took time out from my spiritual curiosity until I felt I was “safe” with others whose perspectives supported my evolving awareness as it felt right for me. With each one came a new mentor who helped me peel off the layers. I was able to integrate spirituality within my lifestyle, and be open about it – such a relief.

Fact: you will not lose your Self within group consciousness, provided you’re involved in a healthy community that understands and encourages your desires, which actually means you get to shine brighter.

Fact: If others label you as one of those people who is in reality taking ownership of their deepest curiosities and openly sharing this for communal benefit… then they’re not your kind of people, are they?

We’ve got to start somewhere. It could be meditation, yoga, reading different books, attending nondenominational spiritual gatherings, embracing silence, confiding in a trusted friend or learning to ask without fear of ridicule… whatever feels like a natural next step for you is fine.

By trusting your own process, you release fear of judgment.

When we put more thought and energy into what others think, we inadvertently give them the power to approve or disapprove our actions. And that’s no healthy way to live your life, is it?

Certain people may not be in tune with who you are today. You may have walked along the same path for a while until you both veered off onto your own, which lead in different directions. You can still love them from a different place in your heart, and enjoy meeting at the intersections if they come up.

Honour where you stand now.

You will not “lose” anyone: Life will simply remove people from your path who are no longer in tune or of active service to your personal growth. It may hurt for a while as you adjust. You’ll be fine, and so will they.

You will gain: awareness, other people (or a new way to relate with your existing connections), resilience and confidence.

Ultimately, you will become one of those people who is willing to speak up. You will also draw closer those who resonate with you at a deeper level, who are ready, willing and able to help you along with inspired action.

You will go from self absorbed to self aware.

And that, my friends, is powerful.

It’s safe to come out. It’s safe to be one of those people who is openly curious about their personal development and is willing to show up, share, and invite.

This brief conversation with my friend has been timely for me. I have not wanted to be one of those people who refers to themselves as a coach, although the word (spoken by others) has made its way into conversation as more people come to me for guidance, and our interactions help us evolve individually, together.

I’m getting cozy with walking it and talking it, which is exactly what you’re doing in your own way, so guess what?

You’re one of those people, and so am I, since we’re all connected.

Be proud of your awakenings, because there are too many people living in soul-slumber who need us to show them it’s safe to come out too.

Rise and Shine, my Friends.

How has releasing yourself from judgment helped you unfold and take new leaps of faith? The conscious flow happens below (that was an unintended rhyme)…

I’m sharing this deeply personal experience that I call my “Titanic moment” as a reminder of what can happen when you ignore your inner guidance (or “~ing”). May my story serve you to get back on track if you’ve strayed.

What you need to know about me first

I fell in love with Canada a few years ago and decided to follow my heart there, leaving my life in Spain as I knew it. I cashed in major sunshine for the rich rainforests of Vancouver. You see, we often outgrow the place where we were born. Then we find another place we consciously choose to call home because we connect so deeply with it, so we uproot and relocate. And that place, for me, is Vancouver.

I also didn’t finish school (that’s another story). I built my career through hands-on training and dedication to help people put their businesses online. No client has ever asked me to show them a piece of paper to prove I can do what I do. I just do it. And people like it. And they benefit from it. Refer, repeat, thank you. So I never took time out to get a piece of paper to prove that I was qualified – because I already am by experience, right?

What I forgot while I was building and marketing websites for other people was to honour my personal desire to write books. I told myself I was being creative because I developed their sites, but I was pushing off the real expression of my personal creativity. In the back of my mind I also heard my dad’s words, “Get a good career that pays the bills, and then you can be a writer…” so I did, because that’s what seemed best at the time.

A fateful decision

Fours years ago today I submitted my work permit application in Canada, because of my wholehearted commitment to be a fully participating member of the community.

I was coming down the escalator at YVR, with the waterfall behind me and my heart full of anticipation. I could see the Visitors line up ahead, and the Visa Applications to my right.

I could have walked in as a regular visitor, and spent a little time figuring out some of the details that my gut was telling me needed attention…

Instead, I listened to the voice in my head that said, “But you told everyone that you were going to do this… so you better do it. And you have a great job offer, you’ll be fine.”

Since I was determined to live up to my word, and admittedly felt massive fear of rejection that overpowered my discernment, I went against my gut feeling.

And of course, since Universal Law has proven that you get what you focus on…

My application was politely turned down due to my “lack of education” (where’s the tick box for “worldly education,” “lifetime experience” and honest-to-goodness “I have a lot to give, just let me show you”?). Mixed with employment concerns in the local market, you might say the odds were not in my favour at the time.

Please note, I am not knocking the system, but I’ve learned to appreciate that the entire global process needs to look at people more closely… like in-their-souls closely. Can we make it happen please?

That sinking feeling

Suddenly, I didn’t fit in on paper, although I was given some time to sort it out.

Still, the initial rejection hit me hard – my confidence, my sense of worth, my decision-making abilities, and my self-trust all felt it. Emotionally, I had hit the iceberg and my ship was about to take on water fast… If I couldn’t stay here, then where would I go? I left my hometown because I had outgrown it, and Vancouver was the only place I wanted to be.

I did everything I could to stay afloat, to carry on as usual while I figured things out. Even though I asked friends for help and guidance (which they lovingly provided) I felt very lonely. In this hazy race against time I made decisions based more on fear than anything else. Much as there were some beautiful moments, it was also the toughest and heaviest time of my life. I felt like a bird that’s stopped singing.

After my ship hit the sea bed, I ended up moving to Los Angeles, which helped me unravel, sit with my raw emotions, take deep subconscious diving excursions to blow limiting beliefs out of the water, find healing in the sunshine and anonymity of a new place… and build myself up again. I gave myself the space to reconnect with my forgotten dreams, and to embrace my personal creativity with renewed passion. “Progress” was about to take on a whole new meaning for me.

What I learned from this experience, and you can too

I personally had not been rejected by the system. Much as it hurt when it happened, I came to realise that Life/Universe/________ was telling me – very loudly – that it was time to take radical responsibility for my desires and get on with what I really want to do in life.

I have stories to tell, imbued with real life experience that I can share for others to heal, laugh, find inspiration and honour their truth as well. So for starters I poured my heart and soul into making my first book happen. I got the message, Universe. Thanks.

What we do in life need not be a linear process. We can integrate our passions and make a living that fills our hearts and our bank accounts if we so choose to receive. Start busting some of your own outdated paradigms.

Fine tuning our intuition is in high order for all of us, so we can be of better service to others… because we’re all in this together.

Saturn Return – I didn’t realise I was going through it until I was in the thick of it, and I felt like the player at the bottom of a rugby scrawl with everyone else piled over me, with no room to breathe.

Be kind to yourself especially in turbulent times. They will come to pass and you will have a stronger, clearer relationship with your identity as a result.

Sometimes we need to strip it all down so we can get a clear reminder of who we are at the core, and breathe new life into our existence.

Forgiveness of self opens new doors to healing – I had to stop playing the old stories in my mind and start forgiving myself for some of the choices I had made, so I could fully embrace a new way of being.

Live where I may live, Vancouver is my home.

I’m feeling this life-altering experience of four years ago the strongest today – knots in my stomach and all – because it took me this much, and planting the seed of pure intention with my book, to bring the last remnants of those emotions to the surface for me to clear. I am grateful for the laser awareness I have now.

The icing on the cake

You don’t need to go through Titanic moments to “wake up”, but if you do experience them… please remember you’re not alone. Ever. The reasons why may not always seem clear at the time, but Life really has your back and your best interests at heart.

And it’s full of beautiful surprises ready to bloom along the way.

Back to You,

Have you had a Titanic moment that turned your life around? Share what you learned from it below…

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As those who know me will tell you, I’m the nurturing kind, and what I do has allowed me to help people in many ways so far. Though somehow, it started from the outside in…

Once Upon a Time in Spain

I’ve spent about 14 years of my life in the web industry. I fell into my career out of boredom in my late teens, and after picking up a book about web design that my brother had bought but never used, I told myself, “I can do this, it looks like fun!”

It started me on my path in an industry that has evolved tremendously. Bear in mind, I didn’t finish school. I don’t have a degree. My life has been unconventional, as has been my career. Here’s why…

I was one of the first tech girls in the rising world of SEO as it became prevalent in the minds and budgets of many, when I landed my first full time job in a company that trained me in the art, magic and science of search engine optimisation back in 2001.

I remember attending one of the very first PubCon events in London (the ratio of men to women then was probably about 30:2), conveniently named as such since it was birthed from the idea that having a tech conference in a pub would be much more conducive to fellowship and sharing of knowledge than at a typical hotel conference room setting, albeit with a pint (or some) in hand. We talked late into the night about how to beat the search engine odds and Gods. Some SEO’s wore white hats, others wore black hats (I wear mine white, thank you very much – ethics and integrity are high on my modus operandi).

I worked my way through HTML code, learning other bits of languages along the way – enough to know that when a programmer told me, “That’s not possible,” I could confidently reply with, “I know it is, now please make it happen. How long will it take you?”

I earned my place on the team by consistently taking action and getting involved at the core development level of the websites we created, and which I then optimised. I read and listened and applied myself diligently. I learned how to ask for a raise… and got it. I learned to stand my ground with paranoid server administrators, and gained full access after they finally accepted that I was trustworthy and knew my shit. I memorised more logins and passwords than necessary (I still do).

Besides my boss at the time, I was the only one on our team who knew what to do with keywords, anchor texts and link strategies to make sites show up on page 1 of Google. He taught me well, but when I felt the company was changing in ways that didn’t care about my visions for its future, I decided to leave.

Leaps of Faith

I set up on my own, and quickly developed relationships with some of my previous clients in the company, who sought me out to personally continue their SEO campaigns (my ex-boss had bigger fish to play with, so neither of us questioned it and my integrity remained intact). I created strategic alliances with other developers and agencies to provide my clients with their programming artistry, while their clients benefited from my online marketing talents.

Here I learned the power of collaborative effort, in which everyone gets a piece of the pie and enjoys it.

I became the go-to person in my field for getting people’s businesses up and monetized online – not just in southern Spain but throughout the UK & Ireland as well. People referred to me as, “The SEO Girl,” and I came to find myself being both highly respected and sought after in my expanding circles.

Disclaimer: This is not to blow my own horn, it’s simply a fact that I remembered as I write this, and there’s no hero complex here either… Remember your victories, they help pave your future.

I learned that true mastery comes from consistency, discipline, and focused action. I didn’t need a piece of paper to prove myself, because my dedication and results show for themselves.

Writing 101 = Show, don’t tell.

Bigger Leaps of Faith Across An Ocean

I outgrew my hometown in Spain and I fell in love with… Canada. So my personal journey took me there and then to the US, where I set up a new version of my company and learned that business really is done differently on this side of the world. New things to learn, new people to meet, new opportunities to be embraced (and now I can really say I have a global business).

Nowadays – especially here – there are more SEO girls, tech aces and social media chicks. It’s inevitable – we’re social, we like to share things… and now we have the best technology ever to do that, which suits all our audiovisual desires.

As my personal awareness brings me full circle to create from the inside out and accomplish what my heart has always desired since childhood – to write and publish my books – I have a lot of gratitude for my marketing career.

Overall, it has given me so much in terms of lifestyle, learning, travel, and personal evolution, which has helped me satisfy my number one core desire: to live a life well optimised.

Coming Home (Within)

As I integrate my writing career now with some heartfelt nudges from my friends and other fabulous human beings, I get to do everything I’ve been doing for my clients, for the best one now… Me.

It allows me to rise above new benchmarks and surpass my own beliefs and abilities, which further imbues my client work with more fun, ideas, and leverage for everyone involved (remember the nurturing bit?).

You can still call me The SEO Girl, although I’m not just optimizing websites now, I’m optimizing people’s businesses and lives.

Out of this realisation, I’ve birthed a whole new vision for myself, and I love it. Three hoots to that!

So, welcome to my optimised life… Now, how can I help You?

Wanna chat? Share your experiences, insights, and other fun things in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you…

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Just as I believe that we all can resolve to give our lives new meaning anywhere and anytime, I also believe in the collective energy that we all can benefit from on specific dates, like New Year. We gather to give ourselves the opportunity to effect obvious change in our lives, and to somehow hold one another accountable for these resolutions. They could be calls for help, simple affirmations or just seeking another check-in buddy for the sake of new perspectives.

I find it sad when certain people already give themselves a way out of New Year’s resolutions by stating, in the same sentence as the resolution itself, how they probably won’t make it and give up after 2 weeks.

Wow. Attitude check.

Last night, over dinner with friends, we didn’t talk about New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, we highlighted our best or favourite achievements of 2012. And before I could even say mine, someone I had already spoken to about it said, “Karin published her book!”

Oh ya, I did. And it feels so good!

The things is, I let go of making New Year’s resolutions a long time ago, mostly because I didn’t quite resonate with them. I seem to have a built-in mechanism that puts things into motion already in December, so that by the time January comes around things are already manifesting and working out in new and better ways. Sometimes it takes a little longer, sometimes it happens practically overnight. Either way, I’ve learned to trust the process.

Letting go of making New Year’s Resolutions did not, however, stop me from writing a story about it some time ago, which I have now refreshed a little and offer to you as a freebie to download. It is the story of Resolution’s New Year, written as a Greek tragedy of sorts, with a twist and a play on words, which is what I love to do.

Download your free copy of Resolution’s New Year

In fact, thinking of the word “resolution” this morning, I looked at one of its other definitions that some people seem to have forgotten…

When you separate the word, you get “re-solution.” A means of finding new solutions to an old issue or nagging feeling. Re-solve it, from a new angle. Maybe take a smaller step than the one so many others are taking because certain group consciousness has guided them towards making massive change that may be too steep for them to manage. Re-group your thoughts around this concept to make the most effective change for you.

I spent my weekend honing in on my core desired feelings via Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map. I highly recommend it if you’re not on board already. This will completely overhaul your sense of goal-setting, and bring you right back to the source of your desires, which is what allows us to make real impacting change going forward.

Resolutions, much like goals, can seem daunting at times. So this will help get you out of overwhelm and into heartfelt decision-making.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what it means to you to make promises to yourself in the comments below. How do you keep your faith and see things through?

Wishing you the best days of your lives from here on,

Invocation. I like this word… mostly in Spanish.

Invocación. It has a deeper resonance to it. An oomphatic statement.

It also makes me think of Joaquin Rodrigo’s “Invocación y Danza” piece for guitar.

It sounds very elfish if you ask me. Elves with cheeky agendas. With a troll that lurks and then skips through the forest (min. 4-ish). It’s not a piece I’m drawn to play, since I prefer more flowing harmony, like this.

But it certainly reflects how random life can seem at times. And mysterious.

This is the magic, or miracle of life. You may have an idea or preference, yet you never really know how it’s going to unfold for you… same as the notes on a piece of sheet music – they could literally take you anywhere along the one thing that is certain – the five lines along which they dance.

We could even give each line a name for the main aspects of our lives:

- health
- relationships
- wealth
- spirituality
- career

These are the constants along our journey of Life. The baselines from which we fine tune beliefs, values, decisions, callings…

All of them running parallel to one another, dotted with the alternating tones and frequencies we create. Diminuendos and crescendos. Counterpoints and pauses. Patterns and improvisations. Piano Piano and Fortissimo.

While all else may seem out of harmony at times, these foundations lay the tracks for our in-vocation to see what calls us next.

And ‘next’ works best with Desire.

Have you RSVP’d to your Desires yet?