Uninvited
I have travelled to new places, visited old ones that keep calling me back, discovered new things about myself and about others. Been through situations which I feel have made me stronger or opened my eyes to aspects I hadn’t noticed before. I have been inspired beyond words by complete strangers and friends alike, all to whom I am grateful for this.
I’ve made new friends, some real and some ‘virtual’ which I may or may not meet in person, but look forward to the possibility of doing so at some point.
*pauses* I am, however, still confused at this whole human interaction business. Be it in person or online, we meet, we establish some form of communication, we bounce off each other, it builds into some sort of relationship (friendship or other). Often we talk every day, and we even discuss being ‘angry’ or ‘upset’ with each other over something – establish that if ever we feel that way we should talk about it. Great! Now, here’s the catch – at some point a lot of those conversations stop dead almost overnight. Whether this is because something is happening in the life of the other person that they don’t wish to share with us (even though previously they may have disclosed a fair amount of intimacies) or whether it is just the natural erosion of the initial spark, or whether suddenly it’s all too much for them, I really don’t know. Nobody’s told me yet (I do know how I have felt overwhelmed at times though). At that point, while you continue with your daily routines and life in general, you also make a mental assessment of what has been discussed of late, whether there may have been anything you said or did to offend or make them feel uncomfortable. You can’t think of anything so you keep a low profile, hoping to give that other person enough space so as to emerge at some point and either tell you what was going on or establish that the issue did not lie with you. The sense of confusion is inevitable. You want to say something but you don’t want to impose… Are we cool or are we not? And if not, why not?
In this day and age, we have so many means of communicating available now that really the only thing holding us back from doing so is our very self.
What I will say to those who’ve gone quiet, whether you’re just down the road or a thousand miles away… you may be busy or you may be at odds, but don’t let the fact that someone is thinking about you scare you. Most people mean no harm and do genuinely want you to be happy, with no hidden agendas. Allow yourselves to be surprised. And I hope you’re keeping well.
So Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah or just happy days in general. After all, happiness isn’t just for one day of the year… Take care.
Uninvited
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you’re not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you’re not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don’t think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
Written by Alanis Morissette
